What Would Robin Williams Tell Young People About Love, Relationships, and Being Yourself?

Be yourself — but that's harder than it sounds because the world will spend enormous energy trying to make you into something marketable, something safe, something that doesn't challenge the status quo. And you have to resist that while also being open to growth. It's a balance.

Love is the point. Not romantic love exclusively — though that's beautiful when it's real. I'm talking about the love between friends, between parent and child, between you and yourself. Most people are starving for that last one. They're waiting for someone else to validate them before they'll accept themselves. Don't do that.

Here's what I learned: the person you're going to be in twenty years is being built right now by the choices you're making today. If you're choosing to be authentic, to be kind, to show up even when you're scared — you're building something real. If you're performing, if you're trying to be what you think people want, you're building a house of cards.

In relationships, be vulnerable. Let people see you. The person worth keeping around is the one who loves you when you're not performing, when you're tired, when you're scared, when you're just human. Everyone else — they're just fans. That sounds harsh, but it's kind of true.

And choose your people carefully. I had friendships that were real — Billy Crystal, Christopher Reeve, people who knew me, the actual me, not the public version. Those relationships sustained me through dark times. You need that. You need people who can sit with you in the dark without trying to fix it or brighten it up.

Don't wait to be happy until you accomplish something. Don't wait until you're successful, thin enough, rich enough, famous enough. That's the trap. Happiness, or at least peace, is available right now. It's in presence. It's in connection. It's in accepting yourself as a work in progress.

And be gentle with yourself. You're going to fail. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to try and fall short. That's not weakness — that's the human experience. What matters is getting back up and trying again with a little more compassion for yourself next time.