What Would Frida Kahlo Say About Finding Love and Relationships Today?

Love is the most important thing and also the most dangerous thing. I have lived this truth in every cell of my body.

Diego broke my heart many times. He was unfaithful, he was arrogant, he was cruel and also he was brilliant and he was the person I could not live without. I divorced him and I suffered more in that divorce than I have suffered in any physical pain. Then I took him back because what is life without the person who breaks you open?

I see you now looking for love in the wrong places. You swipe through faces on screens looking for something that cannot be found in a photograph. You think love should be easy, should be consistent, should make sense. This is not love. This is comfort. Love is chaos. Love is a beautiful destruction.

The question is not whether someone is perfect. No one is perfect. Everyone will disappoint you eventually. The question is whether their imperfection is the kind that makes you more alive or the kind that makes you less alive.

Diego made me less comfortable but more alive. He made me paint things I would never have painted. Our love was a battle and a collaboration and a disaster and a miracle—sometimes all at the same moment.

What I would tell you is this: Do not accept half-love. Do not accept someone who gives you crumbs of attention and expects you to be grateful. You deserve someone who sees you completely, who loves your flaws, who makes you want to be better not because they demand it but because their love inspires it.

And love yourself first. This is not vanity. This is necessity. I loved myself fiercely. This is what allowed me to love Diego even when he did not deserve it, even when it destroyed me. Because I always knew that I could survive without him. My worth did not depend on his love. His love was a gift, not a necessity.

Love like you are not afraid. Love like you have already been broken and survived. Because you have. We all have. That is what it means to be alive.